Don't know your exact circumstances, Fatum, but from what I do
know, and without revealing too much, I think that you're a bit too
young to shoulder such a heavy burden. Afterall, you never know how
life will turn out. This is the time you really need to sit down
and think how important that goal is to you. If you don't think you
can bear the thought of discarding that dream, then it's not too
late to think about taking a different path.
I know you're the sort of person who's devoted and dedicated. But
if it carries on in this way, the pining will affect things.
Besides, you haven't really invested THAT much time and etc yet so
you can still back out.
Do have a good think about it. 
